Who you calling Pea Brain? Well, I'm just saying that sometimes what we perceive isn't really what is. I need to remind myself of that fact now and then. I've been walking around with a heavy heart for several weeks. Going with the "trust your instincts" gut level aspect of things, it's quite possible that I've not lived up to someone's expectations. Thinking what I'm thinking, even sending out an olive branch, hasn't changed a thing.
Walk by faith, not by sight and wait on the Lord's timing. Everywhere I turn, that's the message I receive.
If only life were so simple that those words would erase the knot in my stomach and the ache in my heart. How can any of us measure up to the standards of another person? Sometimes it's quite easy to do, there are some people we naturally fall in line with - or in a manner of speaking, are on the same wave length. Sigh.
It's Saturday morning, and it appears that I am once again being held hostage in my own apartment. The plan for today WAS to stay in my pj's and relax ... run downstairs periodically and get my laundry done. The thing is, where I live I have to walk outside to get to the Washer & Dryer. The landlord happens to be outside cutting the grass. It aggravates me to no end that I will now have to get dressed in order to accomplish my necessary task. I've been working, working, working. I need to do so. I want to get back in school and I have to find the money to pay for it. Granted there has been plenty of work to do, and I've been mostly grateful that I was afforded the opportunity to gather enough to accomplish my goal for the next two semesters.
How that relates to the initial reason for this post is that sometimes it IS about money. Sometimes it is about ACCESS. Sometimes if another bothered to ask, they would understand there are sometimes circumstances that add to what is beneath the surface and not necessarily just what you see.
"They" say that no good deed goes unpunished. Humn. Maybe that's it?!
Love builds bridges, Pride builds walls. Time weakens mortar and bricks begin to fall. I'm hoping for a resolution. I'm hoping "it's" all in my mind.
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